Elderly Care

As your parents age, you may need to begin formulating an elderly care plan to start the role of caregiver. The day you are born marks the beginning of the aging process and the circle of life. Just know, aging is a fact of life. It will eventually affect your family. As children, we do not even think about our parents getting old. But, as we become adults, it is hard to comprehend how aging begins to affect our parents and ultimately us. With the goal of ensuring the well-being of our parents, we must do our best to consider their emotional, mental, and physical needs.

Elderly Care – Aging Parents

elderly health care
Mom and Dad

If your parents are already seniors in good health, pray for their continued good health. My brothers and me have been fortunate with our parents. They remained independent as years passed. My mom was 11 years younger than my dad. And believe me, they have always been two determined people. That makes us fortunate for so many reasons.

My mom, dad and disabled brother moved to Florida from Pennsylvania when my dad experienced more serious health issues. Already in his late eighties, once in Florida, his health continued to deteriorate. He had the kind of health issues that linger and progressively get worse. No cure possible, no reversal. My parents were committed to each other, promising to care for one another — “in sickness and in health”. To dad’s benefit, mom kept her promise.

My Personal Experience with Elderly Care and Aging Parents

I moved from Pennsylvania to Florida in 2016, moving in with my parents with plans to retire there. My husband had a short time till retirement, and was to join me later. Although I helped when I could, I watched my mom, killing herself to care for my dad. While she handled most physical activity with dad, we picked up the rest.

The progressive decline in mental and physical factors may lead to drastic changes in appearance, mental well-being, and ultimately quality of life for each of us. It is hard to watch your parents decline. Sometimes, I think, it is harder for us than our parents. It seems like most elderly people accept their physical and mental deterioration as a sign of a well-lived life. However, we seem to view the changes as the inevitable loss of something we can never replace – our parents. Our ultimate wish is for our parents to age well and live their last years happily.

Lucky Penny!!!

elderly care

At sixty-five, I recently enrolled in Medicare. My father passed away after I had turned sixty-one. I am fortunate to still have my mother. She’s my mom, best friend, and a pretty spirited, classy woman. She has always been pretty cool. I can tell her anything without getting in trouble. She is my most ardent supporter in all my endeavors. We share stuff all the time. She’s a good listener. Sometimes we sit in the evening and share wine and cheese. She still cooks meals for me and my brother. She spends a lot of time outside taking care of her plants and yard. Her activity level amazes me, as she is eighty-five years young. She misses her husband–I think being outside helps her feel better. Sometimes just watching her is peaceful. She has more stamina than both me and my brother combined.

Financial Implications of My Parental Loss

After the death of my father, mom’s income dwindled significantly. She totally lost his pension and social security. The amount of mom’s social security was slightly increased. Growing up, dad worked in the Steel Mills. Moving to Florida took away any savings they had. Life insurance and retirement plans were out of reach. We were fortunate to have what we did. No big fancy vacations. But none of that mattered, as we were a happy family. With the loss of income to my mother, I quickly realized that me, my brother and mother would need to pull our resources together to survive.

We didn’t do too badly until I lost my job earlier this year. Things are a little tough, but we do what we can to survive. We support mom with assistance and medical needs, insurance selection, copays, hearing aids, and whatever she needs. And mom keeps the roof over our heads. We make a great team. As I have been searching for a different career path, I have joined a community of helping others while creating passive income to assist with our expenses.

I have witnessed and practiced what it takes for home health care with my father. And, so far, the experience with mom has been totally different. Aging is a natural part of life. Start preparing now by educating yourself, learning as much as possible about the options available to you and your parents. Planning ahead will improve the aging process for your entire family.

Elderly Care Needs at Home or Away

I have witnessed and practiced what it takes for home health care with my father. And, so far, the experience with mom has been totally different. Aging is a natural part of life. Start preparing now by educating yourself, learning as much as possible about the options available to you and your parents. Planning ahead will improve the aging process for your entire family.

Take a moment to view some essentials for consideration as you consider your parents’ welfare as they age, planning to keep them at home, yours or theirs:

Moms and Dads Holding Hands

Daily Considerations

  • Bathing or Showering
  • Dressing
  • Personal Grooming
  • Feeding
  • Mobility
  • Toilet use — including getting to and from and self-cleaning
  • Prescribed medication — purchase and scheduled distribution
  • Transportation — to and from appointments, therapy, silver sneakers, grocery shopping, personal care items, and more
  • Home Medical equipment — glucometers, blood-pressure monitors, asthma monitors, pulse oximeters, medical alert systems, and more

More to Consider

  • Cooking and Meal Prep
  • Money Management — including bill paying
  • Telephone Communication Devices
  • Medical Alerty Devices
  • Shopping
  • Cleaning
  • Repairs
  • Insurance Selection
  • Doctor and Specialist Visits
  • Transportation
  • Insurance Selection and Maintenance
  • Long Term Care
  • Hospice

The Denial Game

While not all inclusive, I hope you never have to deal with many things from this list. Thus far, I haven’t had to cope with many of the things listed, but we have experience with many of the issues with my father. Mom is still mobile. The first thing to do is recognize, then acknowledge when someone you love needs support. This can be very hard to do. It is easier to convince ourselves that they aren’t slipping. They were simply having a bad day, or maybe they are just tired. Of course, tomorrow will be better. But many things take time to progress, and what you have witnessed may become more prevalent each day.

Our denial or non-acceptance of reality will not make things simply go away. So observe and take an honest look at your parents to see if they need support. If they do, take action for their well-being and yours. I have been giving mom a SNAP each day of an amazing gel supplement to aid in cognitive functions, and she says she is noticing improvement. I can see the difference with her memory.

No matter how difficult it may seem, always know there is assistance available to you. Reach out to siblings, relatives, and friends. There are also professional caregivers, as well as community help. One of the largest hurdles, however, is acknowledgement.

Once you jump this hurdle, you can begin the assimilation of a care plan and begin moving forward. There are many options available to you. The severity of your parents’ health issues may dictate the path you must take.

Elderly Care Options for More Independent Seniors

  • Most seniors prefer to remain independent in their own homes. To do that, their home may require some modifications. In addition, this may require the support of a professional or family caregiver to work beyond the modifications.
  • When seniors need help with everyday activities and some healthcare support, they can always move in with family. Or, you could move in with them like I did, to provide love, companionship and support. It can be scary to wonder “whether a pot was left burning on the stove”. That makes this a better option than them being left on their own.
  • An independent, active senior can always rent or buy a home in a secured senior community. The downside is they don’t offer any medical help. On the other hand, they may offer amenities such as clubhouses, gyms, yard maintenance, repairs, and housekeeping. Some provide additional benefits, such as transportation, laundry service, group meals, and social activities. It’s almost so good, that you need not leave. With today’s tele-visits to the doctor, groceries and wines delivered to your door, who needs a car? Remember, transportation is available at your convenience.

More Elderly Care Options for Those Needing More Assistance

  • Assisred Living is another option for seniors who need minimal assistance with their daily activities, like dressing, meals, bathing or showering, medication and transportation. They rent rooms or apartments with laundry services, housekeeping, group meals. and social activities.
elderly nursing home care

The next caregiving option is the nursing home. If you are looking for medical surveillance without a hospital, here it is. A nursing staff is available 24 hours a day. Medicare typically does not cover the cost, but Medicaid might. This can cause a significant financial burden on the patient or their family. In my experience, the quality of service you receive is directly proportional to what you paid for it. And parents, in general, are not in favor of nursing homes. The process of choosing a nursing home is a story unto itself.

It takes some time to find the right mix for their welfare and happiness, which is a dynamic condition that will change over time, perhaps even day to day.

Food for Thought on Elderly Care

Do not stress or worry excessively. It is important to stay informed, as you consider your parent’s health, happiness and comfort. When possible, discuss this with your parent at every step of the process. Keep them informed, get their input and listen to them. Please do your best to honor their wishes.

Make sure to use every resource available to you, and never hesitate to ask for help when you need it! After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that in-home health care is the best option possible. But that is because it has been effective for our family. Honestly, it is a personal decision impacted by circumstances outside our control. And all there is to do is deal with it in the best way possible. Good luck in making your choices, and hope you are all as lucky as I have been. With God’s blessing, I will have mom for many more years! But whatever God has in store for us, we will pay forward what mom and dad did for us growing up and always!

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